The first line presents a major difference from Regis’s romances with the inclusion of a “one-night stand.” The hero in this story has already met his romantic interest, but was only looking for temporary companionship. He asks the other person to stay with him, but he knows it will only be for a little while. This song is not about love or lasting relationships, but more about the inner struggles of the hero.
Additionally, this story is told by a man from the 1st person point of view, which is incongruent with Regis’s regulation that romances must be stories told about one or more heroines. While the gender of the hero’s love interest is never specified, Sam Smith is publicly out as homosexual, which means that the audience will most likely interpret this song as about another man. Not only is this song sung by a man, but it is about his romantic feelings for another man, which means that there is no heroine in this romantic narrative. This introduces a major conflict when attempting to read the narrative through Regis’s perspective, since she believes heroines are essential to romances.
“This ain’t love, it’s clear to see”–The hero repeats this line 4 different times in this song, which completely goes against the idea of a romance. He states the opposite of a declaration, and never wavers from the statement or falls in love with his romantic interest. This makes the entire narrative very different from Regis’s definition of a romance.
“And deep down I know this never works”–This line is also the opposite of one of Regis’s elements—the Recognition of how to overcome the barrier. The hero is resigned to failure in overcoming his barriers to love. It is not the love of the man that he is with, which makes this situation different from Regis’s romances, but it is still a barrier to romance in some way.
Due to the missing elements, focus on a hero rather than a heroine, and admission that the hero is not in love, Regis would not consider this story a romance.